Your First Care Home Visit: A Family's Guide to What Really Matters

Your First Care Home Visit: A Family's Guide to What Really Matters

That first step through the care home doors can feel overwhelming. Here's how to approach your visit with confidence and know exactly what to look for.

Walking into a care home for the first time is rarely easy. Whether you're exploring options for mum, dad, or even planning ahead for yourself, that initial visit carries so much weight - hopes, fears, and the profound responsibility of making the right choice for someone you love.

After 40 years of welcoming families through our doors at Ashton Care, we've learned that the most successful care home visits happen when families know what to expect and feel empowered to ask the right questions. This isn't about ticking boxes on a checklist - it's about finding a place where your loved one can truly thrive.

Before You Even Arrive

Timing Your Visit Wisely Don't just book the first available appointment. Ask to visit during different times - perhaps mid-morning when activities are in full swing, or early evening during dinner service. This gives you a genuine feel for daily life rather than a polished presentation.

Consider visiting on different days of the week too. A Tuesday afternoon might reveal the home's true rhythm better than a carefully scheduled Friday morning tour.

Bring the Right People If possible, include your loved one in the visit, even if they're initially resistant. Their comfort and reactions matter enormously. Sometimes they'll notice things you miss, or feel an immediate connection (or lack thereof) that guides your decision.

Bring another family member or close friend as well. Four eyes see more than two, and having someone to discuss observations with afterwards can be invaluable.

First Impressions That Really Matter

The Moment You Walk In Pay attention to your immediate gut feeling. Does the atmosphere feel warm and welcoming, or clinical and institutional? Can you hear laughter, conversation, or music? Is there a sense of life and activity, or does it feel eerily quiet?

At Ashton Care, families often tell us they knew immediately that we felt "different" - more like visiting someone's home than entering a facility. Trust those instincts.

The Smell Test This might seem trivial, but it's not. Care homes should smell clean and fresh, perhaps with hints of cooking or flowers. Persistent odours of disinfectant, urine, or stale air can indicate underlying issues with cleanliness or ventilation.

Staff Interactions Watch how staff interact with residents as you walk through. Are they making eye contact, using residents' names, and engaging in genuine conversation? Do residents seem comfortable approaching staff members? These spontaneous interactions tell you far more than any formal presentation.

The Tour: What to Really Look For

Bedrooms and Personal Space Ask to see different types of rooms, not just the show room. Are they genuinely homely spaces where residents can display personal belongings, photos, and furniture from home? Is there enough space to move around comfortably, especially if mobility aids are needed?

Look for signs that rooms are truly personalised - family photos on bedside tables, favourite blankets on chairs, or personal ornaments on windowsills.

Common Areas That Feel Like Home The lounge should feel like a living room where people actually want to spend time, not a waiting area. Are residents engaged in activities, chatting with each other, or comfortably reading? Is the furniture arranged to encourage conversation rather than just facing a television?

The Heart of the Home: The Dining Room Mealtimes reveal so much about a care home's culture. If possible, observe a meal service. Are residents enjoying their food? Do staff sit with residents who need assistance, making it a social experience rather than a clinical task? Is there choice in what people eat and when?

Outdoor Spaces Gardens and outdoor areas are crucial for wellbeing. Are they accessible, well-maintained, and actually used by residents? Look for signs of life - perhaps raised beds where residents can garden, comfortable seating areas, or pathways suitable for walking.

The Conversations That Count

Questions for the Manager

• "How do you handle it when residents are having a difficult day?"

• "What happens if my loved one's needs change over time?"

• "How do you involve families in care decisions?"

• "Can you tell me about your staff - how long have most been here?"

• "What would a typical day look like for my loved one?"

  
  

Talking to Current Residents If residents seem comfortable chatting, ask them directly: "Do you like living here? What's the best thing about this place?" Their unguarded responses are often the most honest feedback you'll receive.

Speaking with Other Families If you encounter other visiting families, don't hesitate to ask about their experience. Most families are happy to share insights about what it's really like having a loved one in the home.

The Practical Matters

Understanding Costs Clearly Don't just ask for a price list - ask for a complete breakdown of what's included and what costs extra. Are hairdressing, chiropody, or outings additional charges? What about laundry or room decoration? Transparency in pricing reflects honesty in other areas too.

Care Plans and Flexibility Ask how care plans are developed and reviewed. Can they accommodate specific routines, dietary requirements, or personal preferences? How do they handle changes in care needs over time?

Family Involvement Understand their visiting policy, family meeting schedules, and how they communicate about your loved one's wellbeing. Are families genuinely welcomed as partners in care, or treated as visitors to be managed?

Red Flags to Watch For

Staff Behaviour Be concerned if staff seem rushed, dismissive of residents, or unable to answer basic questions about care approaches. If the manager seems reluctant to show you certain areas or deflects your questions, that's worth noting.

Resident Wellbeing While you can't expect everyone to be happy all the time, residents should generally seem comfortable and cared for. Multiple residents appearing distressed, unkempt, or completely disengaged might indicate systemic issues.

Transparency Issues Any reluctance to discuss policies, show you around freely, or provide clear information about costs and care approaches should raise concerns.

After the Visit: Making Sense of It All

The 24-Hour Rule Don't make decisions immediately. Give yourself at least 24 hours to process what you've seen and felt. Discuss observations with family members who joined the visit.

Trust Your Loved One's Reaction If your loved one visited with you, their comfort level matters enormously. Sometimes they'll feel an immediate connection or strong aversion that should heavily influence your decision.

Follow-Up Questions Don't hesitate to call back with additional questions that occurred to you later. A good care home will welcome this continued engagement and see it as a sign of a caring family.

Making the Right Choice for Your Family

Remember, you're not just choosing a care home - you're choosing a community where your loved one will spend their days, a team who will become part of their daily life, and a place that will either enhance or diminish their remaining years.

The right care home will feel less like an institution and more like an extended family. Staff will know residents' stories, preferences, and personalities. There will be laughter, meaningful activities, and a sense that each person matters as an individual.

At Ashton Care, we encourage families to visit as many times as they need to feel confident in their decision. We want you to see us on our ordinary days, not just our best behaviour, because that's when you'll truly understand what life would be like for your loved one.

Your loved one deserves care that honours their dignity, celebrates their individuality, and supports their wellbeing. Trust your instincts, ask the hard questions and don't settle for anything less than a place where they can truly thrive.

Ready to visit our care homes? We welcome families to visit Ashton Manor, Ashbury, or Abbots Lawn at any time. Call us on 01243 838223 to arrange a relaxed, no-pressure visit where you can see what makes our family-run approach different.

The Ashton Care Group - 4+ decades of caring for local families across West Sussex